Restful pools of chilling depth
. . . relaxing . . .
just long enough
to dump me over another fall
through an uncontrollable attachment
I cling to my raft, my identity that bouys me up.

Once upon a time, the animals decided that they must do something heroic to meet the problems of the "New World", so they organized a school. They adopted an activity curriculum consisting of running, climbing, swimming, and flying. To make it easier to administer, all the animals took all of the subjects.

The duck was excellent in swimming, better in fact than his instructor, and made excellent grades in flying, but he was very poor in running. Since he was low in running he had to stay after school and also drop swimming to practice running. This was kept up until his web feet were badly worn and he was only average in swimming. But average was acceptable in school, so nobody worried about that except the duck.

The Top Ten International Ads Gone Wrong

1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea".

2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."

3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick".

Or, How the Media Would Cover the Apocalypse

USA Today: WE'RE DEAD.

The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS.

National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN?

Playboy: GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE.

Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE.

Victoria's Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE

Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER.

Wired: THE LAST NEW THING.

Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR.

Readers Digest: 'BYE.

Discover Magazine: HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?

TV Guide: DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!

Lady's Home Journal: LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET!

"Come in," God said. "So, you would like to interview me?"

"If you have the time," I said.

God smiled and said: "My time is eternity and is enough to do everything. What questions do you have?"

"What surprises you most about mankind?"

God answered: "That they get bored of beingchildren, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again. That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health. That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future. That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived..."

Somewhere, something went horribly wrong: